Monday

Sleep Pills for Thrills

Sleep pills for thrills, if I can’t sleep I might as well hallucinate
Bills for pills, it kills, but day dreaming is something I appreciate
Head spinnin’ like windmills trying to relate to my dubious trait
Blink and bake, now I’m ready to debate
With my only mate whatever it was I dreamt awake
They say I’ll lose my mind if I keep playin’ with my subconcious
I’m conscious of the inconsciousness still I’m not very cautious
Coz the mind’s already lost and the visions are atrocious
Abnoxious, I walk but I can’t feel a fucking thing
Put it down in words, maybe they’ll mean something, anything
Gotta find a way, stop messing with my brain
It’s like a thunder storm around me but there is no fucking rain
To relieve the storm’s tension, to appease the lightnings driving me insane
Shut out to the world, lock myself up while closing the lids of my window pane
For the light is now unwelcome, I tolerate myself better in the dark
A lonely, life-craving persona, forever carrying a broken heart
The one you carried and nurtured, only to break, abuse and rip apart
It’s so late I have doubts if I’m asleep or if I’m awake
As I scar these words deep inside my head in dire need of a clean slate
There’s a shiver, it slowly ravages to a full-on quake
The pressure in my soul’s just about to alleviate
I smile faintly, knowing it’ll be back tomorrow
For another day carrying myself in the shoulders of my own sorrow
Now I’ll sleep and deal with all this shit in the morrow
Sometimes wishing tomorrow’s would never see the light of day
But they keep on coming, so come as they may
I’ll still be here, raging and writing, ‘til there’s nothing left to say
As if I ever say anything worthy, my life is more like the sketch of a book
Lost words, loose thoughts of what I gave but mostly took
It’s up for grabs but evidently no one dares to take a look
We’re sorry chief, we cut you off, you’re out of the band
Maybe I’m stubborn, maybe I do need a helping hand
As much as I push you, I do need you as friend
But I guess it’s all good
Being the outcast has always been my trend

Faking

A shiver second to a tremor
Consciousness hardly makes it any better
You swing, dash and you swerve
Desperately fighting, rejecting the herd
Stained sheets still reap what you deserve

Split second to refractory change
No receipt for what it is you want to exchange
You scream, rebel and try to file a complaint
In search of something you can never really obtain
Battering day-to-day, walking dry under the rain

So why are you faking
As if you really didn’t know it
Why are you hiding
And do you wanna talk about it
Why are you smothering
When you really should be breathing

Light after day after dark comes the night
You skip it and trick it, you just stay out of sight
But it’s bound to come knocking down your door
Head struck off-guard and down on the floor
Hardly ever what you were hoping for

Moving unnoticed, flyin’ under the radar
As if under the beacon you’ll find your saviour
Running and running out of places to go
Being like everybody else when you know it ain’t so

So why are you faking
As if you really didn’t know it
Why are you hiding
And do you wanna talk about it
Why are you smothering
When you really should be breathing

Split second to refractory change
No receipt for what it is you want to exchange
You scream, rebel and try to file a complaint
In search of something you can never really obtain
Battering day-to-day, walking dry under the rain